Safe and Sound
by Leviosa0812
Summary: When Kendall learns his life his nearing it's end, he only had one thing left to do. To fulfill his last wish, he goes to California to live with his best friend James, his fiancé Carlos and Carlos' stepbrother Logan. Kendall/Logan.


**This is only because I feel so terribly guilty for not updating It ended with? in so long. I'm just really, really stuck on that story and I don't know how to continue anymore. So until I figured that out, here's the first chapter of the story I told you guys about some time ago. **

**Yes, this is the story in which Kendall will die. You're warned. Stop reading right now if that's not something you want to read. I cried more while writing this story that I did with every other story I've every written, and I have only the first six chapters ready. So brace yourselves.**

**Also, and this is no obligation, if you have any idea what I should write in the next chapter for It Ended With? please send me a PM or review. I'm usually not very open to new ideas and I stick to my plan, but this time I could really use your opinions. Thank you.**

**Lastly, I want to thank the person who edited all of this for me; Hikari no Kasai, who I ****accidentally on purpose kind of ignored the passed couple of months...**

* * *

"Are you sure you want this, honey?" Mom asked a last time. She had tears in her eyes, but tried to hide them the best she could. She was well aware of what we were doing right now; that she might never see me alive again. "I know it was my idea, but if you rather stay home I'm okay with that."

"I'm s-sure, mom. I want to m-make the most o-of it." She flinched when she heard my stutter, but again tried to hide her reaction for me. It must be hard for her, to have a constant reminder of what was happening to me.

"Alright, sweetie. Take good care of yourself, okay? Do you have the address? And your pills?"

"Y-yes, m-mom. J-James is going to p-pick me up f-from the airport."

"Okay. Don't forget the appointment with the doctor tomorrow. And call me when it's over."

I nodded. "I'll c-call you when I l-l-land too."

Mom smiled. "I would appreciate that, Kendall." She took my hand and pulled me towards the gate. "I'm coming to visit next month, but if anything happens before that..."

"I'll l-let you k-know im-imme-im..."

Her smile disappeared as she listened to me trying to pronounce a simple word as 'immediately.' I wasn't stupid, I was actually really smart, but I just had a hard time talking. "I know you will, sweetie." We looked at each other for a while, her eyes still filled with tears while I felt a strange kind of peace. I would see her again, in this life or in another. But mom had a whole other idea about this, she never accepted it like I did.

A woman's voice sounded through the intercom, calling all passengers for LA to the gate. "I have to go now," I said softly.

Apparently the double meaning behind those words was too much for mom and the tears escaped her eyes. She reached out and pulled me into a hug. I felt my shirt getting wet, but didn't say anything about it. I suppose it was hard on her. Of course I was going to miss her like crazy, but I didn't have to deal with everything once I was gone; that was going to be her job. "When you feel it's gonna happen, you're gonna call me immediately, Kendall. I don't want to get a call from some doctor telling me you died before I could see you a last time. Promise me."

"Promise," I mumbled. I honestly didn't want to. It only made it harder for me, knowing I was leaving all those people behind when I moved on. People like mom and Katie; they loved me. They would be devastated. But maybe that was why I should call her when I realized I didn't havethat much time anymore. If that was what she wanted, I could at least give her that.

She pulled away, taking my face in her hands. "I love you, Kendall. Katie, Alex and I; we all love you. If you ever want to come back for whatever reason, you're always welcome. You're not a bother."

I nodded. "I l-l-love y-you t-too, mom."

She managed a smile, then stepped back. "Take care, Kendall. Do what you've always wanted to do and enjoy every moment you've left."

"I will. Bye, mom."

"G-Goodbye, sweetie."

I kissed her cheek, grabbed my bag off the chair, hung my jacket over my arm and after a last look at my mother, I turned around and went into the line. When they'd checked my passport and ticket, I took a last look over my shoulder. Mom was now standing in the arms of her boyfriend, crying into his chest. I met Alex's eyes for a moment and he nodded one time, telling me he was going to take care of her. I nodded too, a final goodbye to the man that was going to take over for me in our household and wishing him good luck.

It was going to be hard.

It all started six months before, when I suddenly couldn't talk anymore. My voice just quit, it didn't work. Mom called an ambulance, but once I got to the hospital, they told me I was just fine and got to go home again. When it happened again a few weeks later and mom brought me to the hospital, we got the same answer. But this time mom insisted they would find out what was wrong with me.

I wish she'd never asked that.

A lot of tests and one MRI-scan later they were sure. A brain tumor. No, not one, but two. One in each half of my brain. No cure. I had a year, they said. At the most. And I was numb. Nothing that happened in the two days that followed got through to me. The only thing I knew was that I was going to die. Who in their right mind wanted to know when they would die? I sure as hell didn't. I would've been perfectly fine living on with this and then one day just dropping dead; everything was better than knowing when you were going to die.

I was 21 at the time, then my birthday came -probably my last- and now I was 22. I had a great future ahead of me; professional hockey player for the Minnesota Wild, more than several clubs wanted to have me, but it all meant nothing anymore. I was gonna be dead in a year, no one wanted a star player that could die every moment.

I quit playing one week after I heard the news. I had better things to do with my life than playing some rough game in a rink to entertain some drunk man that didn't really care for the sport anyway. They just wanted to see us check each other into the boards. I spent the next months at home with my family, trying to get as much time with them as I could, doing all the things I wanted to do. I'd earn a shit load of money and since I was going to die anyway, I might as well spend every last cent.

It was great at first, but there was this one little thing I'd always wanted to have. Something I figured would come later in life, when I was older and had more time for other people. I wanted to know love, I wanted to have a person I could kiss and hold and laugh with. Someone to have deep conversations with and understood me.

It was so, so selfish.

I thought about it for a long time; could I do it? Could I really fall in love with someone? Could I let that person fall in love with me while I knew I was going to die and our time together would be so limited? It wasn't fair to that person, but I realized that, yes, I wanted this so badly I didn't care anymore. I wanted love more than anything else in the world and I was going to allow myself to mislead a person in the worst way possible and I wasn't going to feel guilty about it. I hoped that person would understand.

But since I was gay and Minnesota was not exactly a good place was for a person like me to come out of the closet, I had to go somewhere else. And that was when James came along. My best friend in the whole world, the person I spent most of my life with, but transferred from the Minnesota Wild to the LA Kings when he got the chance. I'd told him about the tumor, needing a person to talk to that wasn't family.

He'd offered me his guest room in the house he and his fiancé Carlos got a few months ago. It was perfect. I'd always wanted to go to LA and gay people were more accepted there; this was my chance to find love. And I grabbed it with both hands.

I never told mom or Katie about this. They would try to convince me it was a bad idea, that I should stay with them. But that wasn't what I wanted. So I lied and told them I wanted to spend my last months in the sun instead of the snow. They bought it and here I was, on my way to Los Angeles. To find love.

* * *

"Kendall!" James yelled, the grin on his face widening when I looked at him. It was nice to see a smiling face after such a long time of depressing and sad faces. I needed that, I needed James to treat me just like he always did and introduce me to his friends so I can have a good time with them without them knowing I was going to die soon. I needed that. To be completely carefree. If I ever found love here, it would be a guy that made me stop caring about everything besides him. Because maybe, when I completely focused on the one love I'd ever known, it wouldn't hurt so much to know I'm dying.

"Hi, J-James," I said when I was close enough to talk. "How a-a-are y-you?"

"Dude, why are you stuttering?" He asked confused.

I chuckled and rolled my eyes. "M-maybe b-b-because I g-got a t-tumor in m-m-my h-head?"

He nodded slowly. "That must be it. Good to see you again, buddy." And that was how I asked him to react. I'd told him what I wanted, how I wanted him to treat me. I didn't want him to constantly watch over me or even talk about my disease. I wanted him to treat me like an old friend that came to live at his house for a few months and would then leave again.

"G-good to s-see you t-t-too. Thank y-you f-for letting me s-stay here."

James looked uneasy, staring at the ground and shuffling his feet. "About that... You can stay at my house, but we also have another guest living with us for a while. Logan, Carlos' step brother, he's just eighteen, got in a fight with his parents and ran away from his house. But don't worry, the kid is a genius, he spends most of his time doing homework and reading thick books. He's really easy, won't bother you at all."

I nodded. "That's f-fine."

"Alright, let's go to the car." He took one of my suitcases, not explaining why he did that but I guess the reason was obvious. I sighed, I didn't like these things; I wasn't dead yet. Everyone that knew tried to make my life easier while they still could, but by helping me carry things they were doing the opposite. Physically I was perfectly fine. I could do it myself. I just wanted them to treat me like they'd always done.

But I didn't say anything. James would see soon enough that I was still able to do everything.I was just going to die soon. We walked to the car in silence and I knew James was going to start about my cancer the moment we were alone. I wasn't looking forward to it at all, but I realized we had to talk about it. He needed some answer, he had to know what was going to happen the coming half year so he could prepare himself.

James opened the trunk and we put my luggage in it, then took a seat in the car. He started driving and for a while we were both quiet, James focusing on the round as I looked out of the window. "Kendall, I know you don't want to talk about it, but-"

"J-just ask w-what y-y-you want t-to know n-now and t-then n-never t-talk ab-about it a-again," I said.

"Okay. What do I do when you drop dead?"

"C-call 911 and t-tell them w-what I h-have. T-then c-call my m-mother."

He nodded. "What are we going to see when you're at home? Do you ever get sick or something?"

"S-sometimes, b-but I c-can just t-tell everyone I-I g-got the flu; s-same symptoms."

"And the stutter-thing? You didn't tell me about that in our emails."

"It c-comes and g-g-goes. It's r-r-really a-annoying."

James chuckled. "Of course you are annoyed by something like that when you're going to die."

"D-don't t-t-talk a-bout it, p-please? I j-just wanna p-pretend I s-still have s-sixty y-years to l-live. And you s-sh-should j-just c-continue your life l-like y-you did b-before I c-came h-here. And don't tell a-an-anyone I have a t-tumor, t-they'll just pity me. I hate that."

"How long do you have left?" He asked whispering.

"N-not gonna t-tell you."

He nodded and focused on the road again. It was silent for a long time, but eventually James looked at me again. "It's hard for us too, Kendall," He said softly. "For the people you're leaving behind. You might not like it when we want to do things with or for you, but you can't blame us. We want to spend time with you while we still can."

"I k-know," I whispered. "And t-that's f-fine. J-just c-continue t-to live y-your o-o-own life as w-well."

"I will, it's just hard, man. You won't be here next year."

"Y-you'll b-be f-f-fine, y-you got C-Carlos."

"Yeah..." He said sadly. "About that; can I tell Carlos?"

"If you h-have t-t-to," I said reluctantly. I couldn't really forbid him to tell anyone, it was just easier for me when no one knew.

"It's just, he's really curious. He's excited you're coming, loves practically every person on this earth, but he got suspicious when I didn't want to tell him why you came here. Then I told him you were on vacation, but he didn't buy it and he wants to know the real reason. I explained it was a secret and you didn't want anyone else to know, but then he thought you were an FBI agent that was on an important mission."

I chuckled. "Really? H-how old is h-h-he?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. He's a big child sometimes, but he cares a lot about people and I love him. Don't judge me."

"I d-don't. I'll t-tell h-him."

James was surprised. "You want to do it yourself?"

I nodded. "It f-feels b-b-better telling p-people my-myself."

"Alright then, you don't mind when I'm gonna be there, right? He's sensitive."

"S-sure, J-James." I had the idea we were talking about his ten year old son instead of his husband, but I wasn't going to judge until I met the guy. He probably wasn't as childish as James made him sound. After all, he was a grown man and took care of his little step brother; he couldn't be that bad, right?

"We're here," James said and I looked up, staring at the biggest mansion I had seen in all my life. It was huge and white and beautiful and must have over a hundred rooms. Alright, I exaggerated, maybe ten large suites.

"Dude, you live in a fucking palace!" I said, staring at the 'house' in disbelieve. It was way bigger than the three-bedroom house I used to livein with my mother and sister.

"Yeah... I probably never mentioned who Carlos was exactly," He answered with a chuckle. "He has his own cooking program, earns a lot more money than I can even start to imagine. Not that I'm poor or anything."

"You're gonna marry Carlos Garcia? My mom loves that guy! Once a week she makes one of his recipes and I have to say, they're good."

"Your stutter is gone!" James said enthusiastically while he drove the car in one of the many garages. "And yes, he's great in the kitchen. And the bedroom, but that's not anything you're gonna experience."

I rolled my eyes, but laughed anyways. "I told you; it comes and goes. And I can't wait until dinner is made by the master himself."

"He was already working on it when I left to pick you up, you're in for a treat."

"Great." I smiled at James when we were walking towards his house. This was my first real smile in ages; I had missed my best friend by my side. He still meant a lot to me.

We reached the door and unlike I expected, James didn't pull out a key. Instead he went to a little door in the wall and opened it, typing in a code of at least ten numbers. A click sounded and James opened the large, wooden door. I followed him inside, staring around in awe. It was fucking huge. A large hall, with two stairs that led to a big corridor upstairs. On my left side I could see a large living room, with big, modern furniture in light colors. On my right was a dining room, there was probably the kitchen as well, because I could hear someone cooking.

"I'll show you your room first so we can put your stuff away, then I'll give you a tour. Maybe we'll see Logan somewhere so I can introduce you, he's usually very shy and just comes down for the meals or to go to school, but he's a nice kid. I think you'll like him. Oh, and you got the smaller guest room, I'm sorry for that."

"It's okay, James. I think that even the 'smaller' guest room bigger is than my mother's whole house."

James actually had to think about that. "You know, I think it's about as big as the first floor of your old house, but it's nothing compared to the normal bedrooms in this house."

I chuckled and shook my head, still not really believing James actually lived in this castle and didn't just borrow it from lady gaga or some other famous artist that made more money in a day than I made in a decade. And I was pretty wealthy because of hockey. Though that seemed nothing when I compared it to this palace of a house.

We went upstairs and James guided me through a large corridor, passing at least five doors on each side, before opening the last door on the right. The room was indeed as big as the first floor of my mother's house. It had a white leather couch with a huge 3D TV on the wall. On the other side of the room was my king size bed. In corner was a little kitchen like area with a refrigerator, sink and microwave.

"So this is it," James said. "That door over there leads to a closet and the one next to the bed leads to your bathroom. Wanna unpack first, or would rather see the rest of the house and eat dinner before you do that?"

"The second option," I answered. "Shit man, this is amazing. Thank you for letting me stay here."

"It's no problem, really. I like having my best friend here for longer than a short visit." He smiled at me and I smiled back, but I could see in his eyes that he had a hard time dealing with this. I guess it must be hard to realize this was going to be my first and last stay at his house. That after this, I wasn't just going back to Minnesota, I would be dead.

I felt bad for him, I really did. I felt sorry for everyone that knew I was going to die and loved me enough to miss me when I was gone. But there was nothing I could do about it; I had a tumor, I would die, and there was just one more thing I wanted before I would pass. I was going to get that, no matter what I had to do for it. I wanted love, nothing less than that would do. I wanted to experience that incredibly deep bond of trust and care and happiness. For the rest of my life.

And I would tell that person that; I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. Though 'the rest of my life' was much shorter than that person would know.

After James had shown me the TV room, the library, the sauna with Jacuzzi, the fitness room, the two empty guest rooms, Logan's room, the master bedroom James and Carlos shared and their immense bathroom, we went downstairs and James showed me the living room, the office he and Carlos shared, the restrooms for men and women, the garden with swimming pool and little house with showers to clean yourself after swimming, we went to the media room.

Yes. It really was a media room. There was a big TV with a Wii and Xbox and PlayStation and Kinect and who knows what else. Next to it was a bookcase, but instead of filling it with books, James and Carlos filled it with games. At least a hundred. There were lots of more games, but most evident in this room was the big swirly slide in the corner and the swing next to it. "Again, are you sure he's not a ten year old?" I asked James.

He chuckled. "Sometimes, I ask myself the same question, Kendall, but when I check his passport, it really says 22. And Mrs. Garcia had him checked when he was a kid. He's fine."

Finally went to the dining room and kitchen where we saw Carlos. He was standing at the stove, working on some kind of red sauce. He had short black hair and a friendly, bubbly face; exactly like I remembered from my mother's recipe books. He was shorter than I thought, though he wasn't at all small. Probably because he worked out in his fitness center.

Just then I realized Carlos was talking to a brunette boy sitting at the table, a pile of books in front of him. He looked small, how he sat in his chair at the table, one leg pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around it. He didn't look that happy, probably because of the conversation he was having with his step brother.

"I still think you should call them, Logan. You can stay here, of course, we don't mind, but you don't really want them to be mad at you forever, right? Mom and dad don't mind you're gay, they just didn't expect it."

"You had it easier, you didn't live with them anymore when you told them you were gay. They told me they didn't want anything to do with 'those gross men you'll be with' and that 'they rather wanted me to be a criminal.' As if you would go home and apologize then," He said bitterly and stared at the table.

"They're not mad about you liking guys, Logan. It was the fact that you went to a party and kissed a guy that gave you pfeiffer's disease!"

"I told you! I didn't kiss anyone! You don't have to have lip contact to get it, drinking out of a used cup or eating something a person with pfeiffer took a bite from is enough!"

"Seriously, Logan? You really don't have to lie to me about this! I'm your brother!"

"I'm telling the truth! No one believes me!"

"Okay," James said quickly, startling the two other guys in the kitchen. "Uh, Kendall's here."

Carlos and Logan both looked up, the Latino grinned and his brother blushed and looked away from me just as quickly. He got up and walked out of the kitchen as fast as he could without running. "Kendall! Nice to meet you! James told me so much about you that it feels like I've already known you for years!" Carlos came up to me and pulled me into a bone crushing hug. "I made spaghetti, not something really special. You like spaghetti, right? Because I could make something else too, I'm a cook. Or are you allergic to gluten? Shit, James, you should've told me!"

I chuckled. "I'm not allergic, I like spaghetti. And nice to meet you too."

"Oh. Good. So did James show you your room? I'm sorry we couldn't give you the big one, but Logan is in for a more permanent stay so... Hey, where are you going after you stayed here?"

To heaven. Hopefully. "Uh, probably back home."

Carlos nodded, a suspicious look coming into his eyes. I remembered what James had told me about Carlos thinking I was an undercover agent and had to fight the smirk coming to my face. "Okay, I guess. Oh, that's Logan, by the way." He waved towards the table, but I already knew he left. "Huh, I didn't hear him leave. Oh well, he's shy. You probably won't see him a lot. He goes to school in the morning and after that to the library, then comes home to eat and disappears to his room. Or he lies in bed all day because he's too tired to do anything, he's got pfeiffer's disease."

I nodded, staring at the spot the school boy was just in. I'd heard of pfeiffer's disease, or kissing disease, and I knew you didn't just get it from kissing someone. I wanted to talk to him. He lived here first, was Carlos' little brother. The last thing I wanted was to have someone dislike me in the last few months of my life. Definitely not someone who I was living with.

"Wanna eat?" Carlos asked.

* * *

Carlos' spaghetti was a piece of heaven. If life up there was as good as his food, I didn't really mind dying. It was amazing and this meal was worth living for. Yes, if Carlos cooked for me every day, I was going to have a great stay here. "My mom has all of your books," I told Carlos while taking a bite of the chocolate ice cream -also made by Carlos. "She makes one of your recipes every Sunday."

Carlos grinned. "Oh, really? I would love to meet her."

"She's coming to visit me here in a month, staying with a friend of hers. She'll love to meet you too. She'll probably be all over you with s-s-some q-questions ab-about y-your l-l-l-la-las- damn it," I cursed. "Lasagna."

James looked at me pitifully and Carlos was confused. "I s-s-stutter s-sometimes," I explained, very irritated with myself. "C-can't h-help it."

"Ah." Carlos nodded. "So what are your plans here? Are you going to get a job or chase men all day or go to school?"

"Uh. I-I d-don't r-r-really know y-yet."

He nodded again, that suspicious look in his eyes coming back again. I glanced at James for a moment and saw him nodding towards Carlos, telling me to just tell the Latino what I came here for. It just wasn't that easy. I always had a hard time every time I told someone I had a brain tumor and only a short time left to live."T-there's s-s-something I s-sh-should tell y-you," I said softly. "It's n-not t-that n-n-nice."

"I knew it! James I told you he's a secret agent that has to use our house as his headquarter, because he's on a special mission!"

"Carlos, he's a hockey player! Just like me! I've known him my whole life, he's not a secret agent!"

"Oh," Carlos said disappointed. "Sorry for that. What's the real reason?"

I bit my lip and looked him in the eye for a few moments. I could see him realizing this was something serious, something dead serious. "I'm h-here t-t-to f-find l-l-love," I whispered, averting my gaze from his eyes to the wall behind him.

"To find love- what do you mean?" Carlos asked bewildered.

"I-I-I..." I sighed. "I'm g-going t-to die."

He stared at me, the news only slowly sinking into his brain. It was the same with me when I first heard it; I didn't realize what it really meant until a few days later. In those first days I had still been hoping for a call from the hospital, telling me the tumors on my MRI-scan weren't tumors or that they confused my scan with someone else's. Realizing you were going to die, knowing that the day of your death was just a year away; it was awful. It must be the same for everyone who knew me, knowing that I was going to die soon. It was always in the back of your head, bugging you at night when you tried to fall asleep.

A few minutes had passed and Carlos still didn't say anything, so I figures I would continue. "I have a brain tumor in each side of my brain, both are too deep in to be removed and there's no other cure." My stutter was gone and I quickly went on, it was easier to explain all this without having to pause constantly. "For the last six months I've been spending time with my family at home, but there's just one more thing I want to experience before I die. I want to know love, like you and James. So I told James everything and he suggested to come out here."

Carlos was still staring at me, biting his lip. James got up from his chair and took the one next to his fiancé, taking his hand to provide some comfort. I wanted exactly that. Someone I could be with, help, take care of, kiss, tell my every thought, love... I had to find it, I didn't want to die alone.

"I don't know what to say," Carlos whispered. "How do you deal with this?"

"I don't," I answered. "I can't do anything besides taking my medicine and hope for just one more day."

"Shit! I just know you and you're gonna be gone already! Fuck!" He looked away from me and quickly wiped the tears from his eyes before pulling his head up again. "I'm so sorry, Kendall. I don't know what to feel right now, but I do wish I'd met your earlier to have more time... How long do you have left anyway?" He whispered the last question.

"I don't want to tell, but let's say I'll be gone by christmas."

He shook his head in disbelieve. "Damn," He muttered. "So this is going to be your last destination? You're not going home again, are you?"

"No," I said softly. "If I find someone here, I'm not going away for even a day."

"We'll help, Kendall," James said suddenly. "As much as you want us to go on with our lives as normal as possible, we can't. You got one last wish, the least we can do is make sure you find love. We know all the good spots around here, bars and clubs and cafes; just let us help." He was almost begging and I once again felt guilt rising in my chest. It was hard for them, maybe even harder than it was for me. Carlos nodded in agreement, just as eager to help me get what I wanted.

I nodded, knowing that I couldn't deny their help. I needed it. As much as I hated it, they couldn't just go on with their lives now that they knew this. I wouldn't have done it. "T-thank you."

Carlos managed a small smile, but he was obviously still upset. James scooted his chair closer and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer. I felt the want coming to my chest again. The need to have someone I could call mine, though it wouldn't be for long. James nuzzled Carlos' cheek and then pressed a kiss to it, I felt a strange kind of jealousy. It had nothing to do with wanting either of them for my own; I just wanted what they had.

"Uh. I w-would a-a-ap-appreciate it if y-you d-d-didn't tell anyone e-else," I said, my gaze fixed on my glass. I didn't want to look at the pair now that they were being all couple-y and had everything I was so desperately hoping to find here.

"I won't tell anyone," Carlos promised. "Not even Logan."

Oh right. Logan. The kid came down about an hour ago while we were eating dinner, he'd quickly gotten some of the spaghetti and then disappeared upstairs again. James and Carlos didn't lie when they said he was shy and disappeared a lot. I wasn't really sure if I should tell him or not. We lived together in one house and he was probably going to notice it when I was sick, but I felt uncomfortable with so much people knowing. I just wanted to have a peaceful time until my death, without having so much people worrying about me all the time.

It was a quick decision; I wasn't going to tell Logan.

I was going to talk to him though. I was curious about him, why he was so shy and rather sat alone in his room than be around other people. Maybe he was embarrassed... After all I did hear that conversation about his parents kicking him out of the house and telling him all those horrible things; it probably wasn't easy to have other people hear that.

"T-thank y-you," I said, my annoying stutter returning. "I t-think I'm g-g-gonna g-go unpack an-and s-sleep."

Carlos and James nodded, both of them still a little shocked about my news. Carlos, because this was the first time he heard it and James, because he was my best friend and he was going to lose me. They were going to be fine though; they had each other. They had love. I got up and walked out of the kitchen, up the stairs. I was halfway when I suddenly heard music, soft, melodic music. It sounded like piano... but it wasn't...

I walked further up the stairs, curious about this angelic sound. It came from Logan's room. Of course it did; he was the only other person in the house at the moment. I went to the door of his room, listening to the sound that was so strange to my ears. It wasn't piano, but definitely sounded like it... Though it was softer, the separate notes flowing over in each other in a smoother way. It was amazing.

This was a great excuse to go talk to him. I'd never been into classical music, but this sounded so wonderful. I definitely wanted to know who this composer was and the name of the song. Maybe I could use it as a lullaby; the strange instrument definitely sounded like it could make the loveliest of melodies.

Quietly, I opened the door and peeked inside. I couldn't see Logan, but he probably didn't hear me or he would've shown up by now. I went into the room and closed the door behind me, feeling like an intruder. He didn't invite me into his room, I just marched in. I hoped Logan wouldn't mind too much. I took a look around and stated that his room was indeed a lot bigger than mine was, but I didn't really mind. It didn't look at all like you would expect a room of a college student to look like; it wasn't messy, all books were neatly put together above a clean desk, no clothes were lying around on the ground, the bed was made. It was very unlike I expected it to be.

Meanwhile, the music was slowly getting louder and I was even more puzzled than before. What was this strange instrument? It was coming from my left, an opening in the wall making way to the room where the beautiful music was coming from. I tried to make no sound as I walked over, scared to miss even an second of this beautiful song. I paused when I was almost there, hesitating about going in there. Maybe I should just leave…

But the pull was too strong, the gorgeous music to tempting. I stepped forward, into the other room and held my breath at the beautiful scene in front of me. Logan was sitting with his back towards me and he clearly hadn't heard me coming in. In front of him was one of the largest, most stunning instruments I'd ever seen. It was tall, definitely as long as I was, and it had more strings than I could count. At the bottom were pedals, Logan's feet covering two of the seven that were there. His fingers were flowing over the strings, leaving the strings trembling to create those beautiful sounds.

On that moment I realized what I was doing and I slowly backed up, then fled the room as quickly as I could. What was I thinking? Just barging into someone else's room like that? My mother thought me better. No, I was glad I made it out of Logan's room without being seen. What would I have said when he saw me? 'Sorry, but you were playing so beautifully and I wanted hear it better so I waltzed into your room'?

I slowly walked back to my room and occasionally opened a door to see what was behind it. James had showed me so much I forgot which room was where. When I got back in my room, I started unpacking and thought of what to do tomorrow. First, I had to rent a car somewhere, or buy one. It didn't matter what I did with all my money since I didn't have a future to save it for.

Then I had to go to the hospital to meet the doctor that would treat me until my death. Hopefully he would be able to postpone it a few more months so I could spent more time searching for and be with my love. And maybe after that I could sign myself up for that fitness center James went to before he met Carlos. Only gay men went there and hopefully I would meet some cool person, or even make some friends.

And tomorrow night, James and Carlos insisted on taking me out and introduce me to LA's finest nightlife. That was what I was looking forward to the most, going out and doing stuff with my best friend who I hadn't seen for a year.

And maybe I would check out the local rink too. The season was over so James didn't have to train with the team anymore and the rink was open to the public. Or so I hoped. Or maybe I would be able to get in by telling them I was Kendall Knight, the most promising young star but suddenly stopped without a reason.

That was gonna be a big media story once I died. I already knew the headline: Kendall Knight; a tragedy of young talent.

When I was done unpacking I decided to take a shower and go to bed. Tomorrow my California live would start. Hopefully with a breakfast cooked by Carlos.

* * *

**I promised myself I wouldn't upload the first chapter until I finished the whole story, to avoid disappointment when I don't finish it. You should look at this as a preview, because, yes, I have six more chapter ready and waiting, I probably won't upload them until I finished the whole story. Knowing myself, that could take a long time, both because I'm horribly slow, but also because I tend to make stories way longer than I intended them to be. That would be my ranting for today, hopefully the next time you hear from me again is when I can give you a new chapter to It ended with!**


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